#LikeAGirl

The other night we were watching the Oscars as a family. We had a $15 iTunes gift card on the line for whoever had to most guesses right of the winners. If you watched the Oscars I'm sure you can recall Patricia Arquette's speech. Its gotten a lot of media attention because at the end of her speech she says:

"We have fought for everybody else's equal rights. It's our time to have wage equality once and for all, and equal rights for women in the United States of America," 

 During her speech the cameras then move to show Meryl Streep, one of my favorites, standing and clapping along with JLo standing and clapping next to her. Of course seeing this I got all fired up being quite the little feminist myself. Bronson thought he would make the comment that its bad to be feminist because they're crazy. I will never forget what my Mother shot back at him so quick I didn't have time to even get my two cents in. Michelle said, "Bronson being a feminist just means that I believe and fight for women rights. I think women should be treated with the respect and dignity as men do. Is it bad that I want to be respected and seen as an equal at work and in the community?" Well that shut Bronson right up. I think a lot of people see the extreme feminists and think they are a little on the crazy side. From the beginning of time women have been treated lesser to our counterpart, unfortunately. The other night I had a funny experience. Every night I go to the gym. I lift, I run, and then lastly I get some shots up and work on my game. The courts were empty when I got there so I was able to get a main hoop but they started filling up fast as the night went on. Soon two guys came in. They were all decked out in Adidas BYU gear (BYU is sponsored by Nike. Giveaway they weren't all that great) and came off as your typical pick up ball jerk. They came up to me and asked if I would shoot on the side hoop so they could have the main hoop for themselves. I politely said no thanks and went to go about my workout when they stopped me again. They continued to tell me how they needed the main one bc they wanted to play one on one and their buddies were coming anyways. Rather than asking me to move again the one boy looked at me and told me to move. I smiled and giggled then looked at them and said how about I play you both in a game of 1 on 1 to 11 by ones and twos winner gets the court. They both started laughing like I was crazy. Well, they weren't laughing when I beat them both in a matter of minutes. After this I got thinking and thinking and thought, if I ever have a daughter I don't want her to ever feel like she's not an equal? Do I want boys and men to view her value as less than theirs? Do I want her to lack the confidence in herself as a woman? No. The thinking continued and I thought about what Michelle did to prepare me for life. How she helped me gain the confidence I have and thats needed to survive in the world. There hasn't been a time in my life where I felt I wasn't equal to the men around me. If anything I've always felt I was above them. I thought about what Michelle taught me. What Steve taught me. What the women in my life have taught me. What basketball, friends, school, my siblings, cancer, and how every aspect of my life has led me to be who I am today: a feminist. A strong proud woman who demands to not only be treated as an equal to men but also demands the same respect that men receive in the work field, on the basketball court, and anywhere and everywhere I may be. 

At the top of the page there's a YouTube that really got me thinking. I saw this commercial and it made me a tad teary eyed. I never thought about the saying "like a girl." I would be lying if I said I've never used the phrase. If you read my previous blog I talk about how I was raised with all boys. In my mind when I think, oh I play basketball and xbox like one of the guys. I never saw it for what it truly meant until just this last year. I loved that in the YouTube above the younger girls have all the confidence in the world. They don't see throwing like a girl as a bad thing. Or running like a girl. So where's the breakdown? When does playing ball like a girl become such a bad thing? When was being a girl such an insult to society? So I'm going to remind you all what it means to run like a girl. To fight like a girl. To throw and play ball like a girl. I think people forget just what us girls are truly capable of. 

#RunLikeAGirl

Running is something I will never be fond of. I hate running probably because for so many years of my life it was the punishment for crappy basketball play. Its the worst part of my work out when I have to stop lifting and go do cardio. So when one runs like a girl what does that mean? When I think of one person and one person only when it comes to running. Michelle. If you were to tell you 3 things about my mother I would tell you this 1. she needs diet coke and water in large volumes throughout the day 2. she just wants to watch downtown abbey everyday all day and 3. she loves to run and will out run you on any day. My earliest memories of my mother are driving around the night before a long run leaving water bottles in bushes. Riding my bike with her on her runs. Things like that. My mother has ran everywhere. No matter where we are on vacation or where she is for work she goes running. She's ran in China, Canada, Boston, Hawaii, all over southern California, Florida, the capitol building, wherever she can get a jog in she will. If I ran half as good as my mother I would probably be 20lbs skinnier. Running like a girl isn't a bad thing, in fact a few years ago there was a little girl who was quite the running back. She became a huge hit on YouTube because she is only 9 years old and was running circles around the little boys in her pee wee football league. Sam Gordon actually is from Salt Lake and I was able to meet her a few summers ago when she attended a BYU basketball camp I was coaching. Check out her high lights here  she runs better than any of those other little boys and looks just as smooth out there as some of these college running backs. Running like a girl obviously isn't a bad thing. 

#FightLikeAGirl

Girls and fighting I feel like can be taken in a few ways. There's fighting like literal throwing punches, there's the emotional fights that we all go through, then there's the physical fights that come along with health issues etc. When I think of fighting like a girl I think of first and foremost the amazing Ronda Rousey. Ronda is a UFC fighter. She's 10-0 and is to make it simple for you all that don't know her, she's the UFC champion for women. If you don't know who she is google her. I don't think anyone would want to get in a fight with Ronda Rousey lets be honest. She's a beast in the ring. ESPN did a short video on her check it out. UFC for so long was a men's sport but she came in and was the first women to sign with the UFC in 2012. She's set a trail of what women can do when given the opportunity to compete in what was once that to be just a man's sport. Ronda has not only proven she deserves to be a part of the UFC but also has done it better than any man or woman has. So Ronda is a great example of the actually fighting, they lets punch each other for the hell of it. But there's another fight and not everyone experiences it nor does everyone win this fight. This fight also is very familiar to me and its the fight with cancer. To explain a little bit about this fight I chose one of my own personal heros. Her name is Tenley Wilson. When Tenley was 2 years old she was diagnosed with AML. Tenley's family just happens to be one of our closest family friends from Salt Lake so it was so sad to hear about her diagnosis. It killed me to think a two year old little girl was going through what I had. The needles, the constant IVs, the pain, the nausea, the hair loss, everything I went through she was going through. But she was only two. But you know what, when I went and saw Tenley there wasn't a doubt in my mind she would fight and eventually overcome her cancer. She was sassy and spunky and you could just tell she was a little fighter and she was. Fighting like a girl means fighting like Tenley, which it completely fine with me. 

#ThrowLikeAGirl

Karlie Harman, a 15 year old girl out of Virginia is the quarterback for her football team. When she was told she throws like a girl and she said, "I take that as a compliment because yeah I throw like a girl because I am a girl. I throw with power and dedication." Talk about confidence. At 15 years old there's a significant different in the athleticism between boys and girls. Boys are usually much farther ahead than the girls. But as you watch Karlie out there she plays with heart and she just plays football, and she's quite good at it. Football has always been a guys game. But every now and then you hear about girls like Karlie, or like Sam mentioned above and it makes you wonder how different the game with be with more teams had a girl on the team. Not just any girl, but a girl that can compete and hold her own out there. I know for a fact Karlie Harman throws a football a lot better than I do and probably better than most boys lets be honest. Besides throwing a perfect spiral most importantly Karlie Harman plays with confidence and doesn't see it as a bad thing that she throws like a girl. 

#PlayBallLikeAGirl

Playing ball like a girl I feel like really became an insult when the fat kid from the Sandlot said it as an insult. When I think of playing ball like a girl my mind automatically goes to some of the greatest women basketball players of all time: Diana Taurasi, Sue Bird, Lisa Leslie, Maya Moore, Candice Parker, Becky Hammon, Elena Delle Donne, and Brittney Griner just to name a few. Mark Cuban back a while ago joked that he wanted to take Brittney Griner in the second round of the NBA draft. Diana Taurasi was said to be the only woman that would be able to hold her own in the NBA. Its a given obviously not very women can dunk. Some people think that because of the lake of dunking that takes away from the game. I think thats a lie, if anything it makes it so that you're watching good fundamental basketball not a dunk contest. Playing ball like a girl isn't a bad thing. You have to accept some of the harsh facts, yes Lebron would beat Maya Moore any day in one on one. But does that mean that playing like Maya Moore is a bad thing? There's a reason Becky Hammon is an assistant for the San Antonio Spurs, because she understands the game. She plays ball like a girl and now she's teaching Manu and the boys how to play ball like a girl. I take pride in the fact that I understand the game of basketball; that I can hold my own when I play with the guys and dominate when I play with the girls. 

When I was at BYU in one of my classes I learned that between the ages of 8-10 boys naturally become more coordinated. By the time kids are 12 boys are three years ahead of girls athletically and coordinately speaking. Is coordinately even a word? But you get what I'm saying. Boys naturally have more muscle mass. They're naturally more coordinated and athletic. So when you find a young girl who can compete with the boys, its a big deal. She physiologically speaking has the odds against her. Its a rare find. When you find girls who can play alongside the boys. Who are confident enough to know they're good enough to play with the boys. I know I used a lot of sports and athletes as examples, but in any situation in life no matter what it is, it isn't a bad thing to be a girl. Its nice to see TV shows, books being written, and movies being made with strong female role. Just in the last few years we've had Divergent, Hunger Games, Wild, Revenge, and Frozen all have leading ladies. Being a girl isn't a bad thing, its one of the greatest things in the world. Its time that women start being treated as an equal to men. That women get the same rights, benefits, respect a men as well as  being viewed just as knowledgable as men in the work field. Doing things like a girl shouldn't be an insult anymore. It should be a compliment in the highest form. There is nothing more beautiful that a young girl who has confidence and who is proud of who she is. If she can keep that confidence throughout her life she then becomes a strong confident and independent woman which is one of the greatest achievements a young girls can achieve. I think of everything Michelle has taught me. How a woman can run for a city office, how to feed the masses, how to use mind over matter, and even how to do a cartwheel. But the most important thing Michelle has taught me is to be proud to be a woman and to be a smart, independent woman who never gives up and does what she wants when she wants. My mother taught me to be a feminist, to believe and fight for the equal rights of women all over in every aspect of life and to stand up for myself. She taught me by example to be proud of who I am and never back down. Some of the greatest lessons I think a mother could ever teach her daughter.


#LikeAGirl

Boys Boys Boys

So last week was a long week for me for whatever reason. I couldn't figure it out. All week I felt like something was missing from my life and I pin point what was wrong with myself. Everyday went the same as always. Wake up at 7, take Bella out, eat my nasty gluten free oatmeal, pack my lunch for the day, go to work, sit at work and hope Ashley comes in for a visit, drive to practice and coach the children, drive home, go to the gym, come home and eat egg whites, watch Food Network, and go to bed. That's virtually my everyday routine. But for whatever reason this week felt off. Friday morning I was eating breakfast with Devin and it dawned on me, this was the first day all week I had seen one of my brothers. Football and school had started so I never saw Bronson. Corbin was off traveling for basketball. And I'm usually gone before Devin even wakes up because the kid loves sleep more than life. All week I had been missing my little brothers. Now I've been blessed to be so close to my life geographically obviously but always our relationships. My family is a very tight knit group. We're the first ones to make each other mad and cry, and we are the first ones to defend each other again angry ex girlfriends and mean kids at school. So going a week without seeing any of my boys was a big deal. I see Daryl everyday because I'm her only friend beside Michelle and the cats. So as my Friday progressed I also realized I was basically raised and grew up with boys my whole life. I didn't get a sister until I was 8. I had no girl cousins my age and the closest cousin to me we Mitchell. All growing up I played in the basketball league with boys until 6th grade. My whole life I was surrounded by boys and you know what, I couldn't be more thankful. Having been raised with brothers for the most part, boy cousins, and spending a lot of time with Steve I honestly couldn't be happier. Growing up with boys wasn't always easy for a girl though. Trying to keep up with the Nintendo games, pick up basketball games, and following and learning the Xs and Os of football knowing I would never play it got hard, but I managed to keep up. I remember for my first birthday party all the party guests were boys with one or two girls. Growing up with boys especially 3 younger brothers taught me lessons that I couldn't have learned any other way and I am so thankful for those lessons that all 3 of my brothers have taught me over the last 23 years they've been a part of my life. 

Brother 1: BRONSON

Anyone who knows Bronson knows he's the biggest teddy bear in the world. He might be 6'7" and weigh 265 lbs but that boy is as soft as they come. Michelle always jokes that he he got all the emotions and sensitivity that I lack. He loves love. He loves being in love, he loves giving kisses and hugs out to just about anyone, and he loves to show love. He flirts with every old lady at Days Market and every little girl in the neighborhood calls him their boyfriend. I warned my bestie Steph when she moved in that she could expect a hug and a kiss on the cheek from Bronson the first time she met him. Well Bronson didn't fail and he kissed Steph on the cheek and gave her a huge bear hug. Bronson was my first little brother and is 21 months younger than I am. Most people think he's older because he's married and large and can grow a beard but for the record, I'm 25 and he's 23. Bronny Boy and I, well we have had our ups and downs. I remember he was my best friend before his mission and when he came home he was all sorts of weird. I wanted to kill him most days for a while. I mean, after 2 years apart the first thing he says is, "your dress is kind of short." Of course my dress is short I like to show off my legs!  But Bronson has pushed me my whole life in sports, school, and everything really. He's always been my #1 fan at all my games growing up and into college. He's the one in the family when I want to go get shots up I know he will drop what he's doing and meet me at the gym. When I got to college I really struggled at first expanding my game to the perimeter and he knew it. We would play one on one for hours. And I lost every game. And I would turn the ball over again and again and get so frustrated. I  would foul him hard and shove him and he just took it like a man and kept playing. Bronson is very competitive and hates to lose so he made sure he always won. But his competitive nature wore off on me and I soon had to expand my game. Because of Bronson I soon developed a turn around fade away. I learned the euro step, I learned how to extend and make myself long and finish with contact. I learned aspect of the game that I would've never learned playing with girls. Playing with Bronson also gave me the confidence to play with boys and to go to the gym and get in on the pick up games being the only girl. He was huge for my success as a basketball player but most importantly over the last 23 years he has taught me love. He taught me that its ok to have a soft side and to have emotions and feelings. Its ok to hug and kiss your siblings on the cheek a million times a day, I still don't do that because its not me but I at least let him hug me now. Because Bronson is like this there isn't a doubt in my mind that my little brother loves me because he shows it daily when he chases me down and hugs me. Even though we don't always agree on things, he loves me unconditionally and always has my back like a good younger big brother should. 


Brother 2: CORBIN

Corbin and I have been through the ringer. I despised him most of his life due to his lack of color coordination and flamboyant ways. But once I got over myself I saw him no longer as the "annoying brother I wanted to help dress and teach how to act in public" and he became the funniest person I've ever met in my life and really my rock during one of the toughest times of my life. Corbin was a freshman at Timpview when I was a senior. Well at the time I was a self-absorbed, selfish, arrogant girl and thought I knew everything. Little did I know that his pudgy, dorky, curly haired boy would soon be my main man. Growing up Corbin was the one we picked on. He had a smaller skinnier build than Bronson and I from day 1. It was very clear he got the white genes while Bronson and I were thicker and bigger boned thanks to the Tongan side. Corbin was always the odd man out. One of our favorite games growing up was making Corbin run under the tramp while we tried to jump on him. Or we would tie him to chairs or inside the inner tubes and shove him to the bottom of the pool. Like I said, we picked on this boy and tormented him beyond belief. Flash forward 16 years later. The little boy Bronson and I teased relentlessly is now 6'10" (the tallest), still has that skinny frame, had the option to play D1 football or basketball, and can throw down all sorts of dunks like its nothing. Corbin taught me not to care what people thought, but also to never give up. Corbin was the middle child, was picked on for majority of his life by Bronson and I, and grew up living in the shadow of his All-Star brother and he has no found a way to surpass all of us in size and has forged his own path and is no longer known as just Alexis and Bronson's little brother. He grew late and because of that he didn't play varsity basketball and football as a freshman like Bronson and I had. He waited and as his body matured he did. It wasn't until after his mission he really found that coordination and muscle mass that Bronson had as a 14-year-old boy. Corbin has that never give up attitude. He doesn't always take advice well, but that boy will do something until he does it right and better than you even if he falls 100 times. Sometimes Bronson and I like to take credit for how tough Corbin is because we roughed him up so much when he was younger. But that's just how he is. We went to school for a week with a broken hand and still played basketball and continued on until the bone snapped in half. Most importantly he's been my protector. When Bronson left and I got sick he stepped up and rather than filling the void where Bronson was he made his own space in my heart and soon became a huge part of my life. His resilience to tough times and his sense of humor helped me cope and get through cancer like it was nothing. He has taught me to laugh, to not care, and to always keep fighting.


Brother #3: DEVIN

Devin... well Devin is a funny kid. Growing up we were super super close, but as I've gotten older and as he has we aren't nearly as close as we used to be. The 8 year age gap between Devin and I became very relevant the last 5 years because he has found me controlling and obnoxious and I have found him lazy and spoiled. I think its because I'm the oldest and he's the youngest. If Devin has taught me anything in life though its that if you want something bad enough and work hard enough you'll get it. Devin growing up was built like Bronson. Had to shop in the husky section of the GAP as a little boy and just was always a little thicker. We used to give him a hard time because at one point he got real pudgy, little did we know he was about to his a huge growth spurt. So we gave him a hard time. Teased him for days. Made fun of him for eating a dozen eggo waffles everyday which Michelle cut for him, made fun of him for drinking a gallon of milk everyday, and made fun of him for eating two rows of oreos. We were pretty hard on him. But when no one was paying attention he started to grow. He also started doing P90X abs everyday. Then it was twice a day. This kid would do ab workouts at night when we weren't watching and soon he wasn't the pudgy little boy is a keg. He soon had a baby six pack going on before we knew it. We couldn't really make fun of him anymore so we continued to still make fun of him for being lazy. But Devin really is hard worker. You have to ride his but to do things but when he does, he does a great job. This last year I really wanted to lose weight and I remember I was doing the P90X ab dvd and I was dying 2 minutes into it. How did Devin do this twice a day for weeks on end?! Devin is more quiet. He does his own thing and is often overshadowed by the powering voice of his older brothers. While Bronson and Corbin and I will be talking about how much we benched he will be sitting there dipping his oreos in his milk being quiet. Next thing we know the kid is getting 2-3 sacks in every football game. Devin has taught me that hard work pays off, but also that you don't have to be flashy or showy with what you do. For all we know he might be lifting just as much as the rest of us but he never gloats or boats about it. He's like the dark horse of the family. He sneaks up on you when you least expect it, and with this group lets be honest its probably the smartest way to be. 

Can you see why I have such a soft spot for my boys? Even though they make me mad and more times than I would like to admit I want to kill them, but that's what little brothers are there for. The best part about being a big sister is that I can get mad at them all I want, but the second someone makes my brothers cry I become the meanest person you'll ever meet. No one is allowed to pick on my baby boys but me. I honestly am so thankful though I have 3 brothers instead of 4 sisters. Growing up with all boys for the first 8 years of my life has been the biggest blessing. It not only helped propel my basketball career, but being a tom boy and growing up playing sports and wrestling with my brothers seems so much more fun than playing dress ups and with dolls like my sweet sister Daryl did. Being surrounded by all boys though made me tough. It made me independent, strong, and stubborn. All qualities that I love about myself and have made me the person I am today. So thank you baby brother's for letting me torture you my whole life. For letting me tie you to chairs and shoving you in the pool. For letting me hang your underwear from the telephone wires when I caught you lying to me. And thank you for not seeking revenge on me now that you are all over 6'8" and can probably kill me. Most of all thank you for not being girls because I think I would kill myself if I had 3 more Daryl's growing up. 

I think thats the best part about being the oldest and being a big sister. I remember when all 4 of my little brats were born and now they're all grown up getting married, going on LDS missions, going to college, and its fun to watch them all just grow into their own person. You're like their second mom. You get on their case when they do stupid stuff. You buy them things they need (yes Bronson still asks me to buy him apple juice when I'm at the store). And you try to help them avoid the bumps in the road that you hit because you don't want them to experience anything that could potentially harm them. Having little brothers is like always having a friend on call. At any given time I know one of them will want to go to In N Out at midnight, or play xbox with me, or watch a football game. Its the greatest ever! But I love my little brothers with all my heart and if you don't have a little brother I'm sorry. You truly are missing out on one of the best things in life. You can always borrow one of mine if you really want though. 

2015

Ok so first things first... its a new year yay! Its now officially 2015 and well, this ecard had me dying today at work so I had to start my blog off with it. Does anyone remember watching the Maury show specifically the episodes where you found out who and who wasn't the father? Let me just say, I used to spend too much time watching those episodes. Its not like I was waiting around for the Muary show everyday but I definitely did see my fair share of episodes with the famous line, "You are not the father!" Anyways, I got a good laugh so I figured I needed to share. Back to business though... lets take a minute to talk about the new year. The New Year is a time for people to sit and reflect on everything that's happened over the last 12 months of their existence and to really contemplate on what they're doing with their lives. My New Years eve consisted of Cafe Rio, Game of Thrones, and falling asleep by 9:30. With that being said its not like I was up all night contemplating the previous year or dancing my heart out like I have in years past. This year was different. I went to bed early, woke up early, hit the gym, and continued about my routine as if it was just another regular day in the life of Alexis Kaufusi. I didn't really take a moment to stop and think about 2014 as a whole until a three or four days into 2015 when I was going through some pictures from the last year. 2014 was a good year to me. I changed a lot without even really meaning to. I would definitely say besides 2011 (cancer year), that 2014 has been one of the most significant years of my life and let me tell you why.

2014 was the year I took accountability for myself. I came to grips with the good and the bad of my soul as well making life changes that I will forever be grateful for. I made decisions that would change the course of my life, and I learned lessons the hard way (as usual) which in reality helped me grow even more. 2014 is the year I grew up. I went from the young adult living to eat, drink, and be merry to the young adult who wanted to plan for the future and make a life for herself. For a lot of my friends and family they noticed a lot of the changes in me physically. The losing 35+ lbs or the nights spent staying in watching Food Network as opposed to going out. They noticed a change in how I looked and acted. But the biggest change was the change that, really only I noticed. False. My cousin Hillary noticed. But between her and I the change I'm talking about is the change that took place inside my little head and heart. My thoughts, my opinions,  my views, my beliefs, my attitude, everything that makes me me was solidified. There was no more confusion or wavering. There was no more living in denial of who I was anymore and the mistakes I made. I had changed and finally grown into my own skin. So how does one do such a drastic change in just 12 months? It all started with one simple change and from there the rest came easy. 

Left: December 2013 Right: December 2014

Change 1: So last January my father was so kind as to point out that I had gained some weight. I just kind of shrugged him off and continued on with my life because I didn't agree and most of all I didn't want to admit I had let myself go. At the time I was still adjusting to a new job that was stressful, it was the middle of basketball season, and trying to adjust to the new up at 7:00am was hard. At Vivint I didn't work until 10:00 or 11:00. Yes I know I had a million excuses for everything like I usually do. So beginning of February Steve brought it up again and I ignored him again. It didn't hit me until I went to put on my FAVORITE pair of True Religion jeans. These are my good luck jeans something good always happens when I wear them so I save them for special days. I went to put them on and they didn't fit, like at all. These are a pair of jeans that had always been a little big  on me and now I couldn't even get them on. I panicked. Complete disappointment and frustration instantly set in. For the majority of my life I had always had basketball to keep me in shape so I never really thought about what I ate or how much I worked out because I knew I would go to weights and basketball practice and be fine. But I wasn't working out anymore and the bad eating habits started to take its toll on me. So I started working out. I ordered P90X3 and Tony Horton became my best friend. I religiously would do my 30 minute workouts daily and soon noticed a change. Af

ter a while though I kind of got bored so I ordered T25 and after 5-6 months of T25 and P90X3 I had lost 25 lbs and I couldn't have been happier. After that I started lifting and playing basketball everyday and lost another 10 lbs. At this point I was so proud of myself but I wasn't satisfied. I really wanted to get down to my playing weight which meant I needed to lose 10 more pounds but I kind of plateaued off at this point. For all those months I had been consistently losing weight and then all the sudden I stopped. I realized something else needed to change and so change 2 came into play.

Change 2:  So this change came as a result of change 1. I hit a plateau in my working out and I couldn't figure out why. At the time I was having some major stomach issues. Everything I was eating I was throwing up. So I went to the doctor, turns out I had acquired celiac post cancer which is a common side effect of chemotherapy. So basically what that means is I couldn't eat gluten and I had to do the paleo diet for the rest of my life, aka lots of fruits, vegetables, and meat. I didn't realize until this moment how bad my eating habits were. Due to my work and coaching schedule I would eat out a lot but I would eat Taco Bell, Wendy's, In N Out, etc. Places that were open late and had drive-thrus because I was always on the go driving from work to practice to a rec game to home. I immediately cut out all fast food and gluten (mostly). I started doing meal preps, packing snacks for the day, and drinking a lot more water. I soon felt better. I wasn't throwing up all the time and I just felt different but in the best way possible. Before I knew it I had lost another 10 lbs and had reached my goal of getting down to my playing weight. The best part is that the eating habits I created over the last few months have stuck with me. I've had learn new ways to cook chicken to keep things interesting, and I've learned so many new recipes and foods that I can substitute that still taste amazing and that don't have gluten. First off, Waffle Love has gluten free waffles. Second, spaghetti squash instead of pasta has become one of my favorites and tastes better than normal noodles. So change 2 came as a result of change 1 just like change 3. 

Change 3: As I said change 3 was a result of change 1 as well. I was working out roughly 2 hours a day, not as much as I did when I was playing in college obviously, but it was still a lot. I was really pushing my body and sleep became more of a necessity in my life. During the week I would stay up late doing whatever my little heart desired getting 4-6 hours of sleep. Friday nights I normally spent being out all night with friends though suddenly turned into nights staying in because spinning class was the next morning at 8:00. Saturday nights soon turned into movie nights because I was so tired from a 3 hour gym day. And Sunday became a day of rest like it should be catching up on all the sleep I missed throughout the week from late games or late night gym sessions. All the sudden my weekends went from no sleep and going from one party or gathering to next and transformed into these relaxing chill weekends. I had finally learned discipline. After the cancer thing I had the whole, "I'm going to do what I want and live every day like its my last because I have cancer and am going to die young" attitude. This made for lots of fun stories, sleepless weekends, and great memories. But with the recent changes it wasn't working for me anymore. I now have the attitude, "If I exercise regularly and eat right I won't have to worry about dying from cancer because I'll be living a clean healthy life." 

Change 4: The last major change of 2014 I made is probably the most significant. In 2014 I finally found myself. I realized who I am and where I stand and what I believe. I accepted my flaws and stopped denying them for the first time. Ever. I accepted the things that make me different and rather than hating them learned to love them. I learned that just because someone isn't on the path you want them to be on or is on a different path than you doesn't mean its the wrong path. Everyone is different with different opinions and views and beliefs and that regardless of where you stand you need to be respectful. I learned to accept change. I'm one of the most stubborn people in the world and hate hated change. But change is happening everyday and you can either fight against change, a battle you're going to lose, or learn to roll with the punches and make the everyday changes a new and exciting addition to your path of life whatever it may be. I learned to care less about what I couldn't control and not lose sleep over the opinions and thoughts of others. I learned I was more like my mother than I would have liked to admit, but I couldn't pick a better person to be like. I learned its okay to be a strong independent woman in a world and society where that generally isn't the role of women. I learned its okay to be 25, not married, not wanting to be married, or wanting the typical lifestyle for a girl from Provo Utah. Like I said, everyone's different and should be accepted and respected for their differences, not looked down upon for being themselves. Everyone no matter their differences deserves respect and shouldn't be judged for those differences. In 2014 I grew up and realized who I really am and learned to love myself for me. You can't expect those around you to love you if you can't even love yourself.

In 2011 I was blessed to have been able to fight a victorious battle against the dreaded Cancer. After that year I was absolutely positive that would be the most significant year in my life. During that year some big things happened right? I beat a lot of odds and was so sure that from that moment on I was invincible. I mean, good Lord I just beat cancer isn't that basically an automatic go pass Go and collect $200 and live happily ever after? No. I learned that as time went on that who I am wasn't defined by my disease or my ability to live through it or a free pass from life. That was just a stepping stone that helped mold me into who I would later become and 2014 was the year I realized who I had become. I was finally done molding myself into an adult with opinions and views and thoughts. I was done being confused. Even though it took majority of 2014, some ups and downs, some long nights of driving listening to Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith, and some long hours at the gym shooting a million free throws to settle my thoughts I finally figured it out. I finally was done wandering on and off my path and found my way. Besides losing weight and finding myself a lot happened in 2014 for not just myself but my family and those around me.

• I got see Lorde live in Seattle
• I had 3 molars pulled the same day Daryl got her wisdom teeth out
• I rediscovered my passion for basketball 
• I got a new coaching job at a new school 
• My childhood best friend Diane had a baby as well as my dear friend Kim
• Corbin came home from his 2 year LDS mission to Seoul Korea
• Michelle broke her foot, Daryl blew her knee out (again), I had bleeding Ulcers, Hilary broke her leg, and Corbin got Type A influenza
• Bronson and Hil celebrated their 1 year anniversary 
• Michelle did a Christmas card for the first time in like, 8 years!
• We went and saw Cher live while in California
• Devin earned a scholarship to BYU to play football and won his 3rd consecutive state championhip
• Daryl played all soccer season on a torn ACL, earned a scholarship to BYU-Hawaii to play soccer, won region for soccer (the last time Timpview won region was when I was playing), and got surgery after a tough loss in State semi finals
• Corbin and I were able to go to Australia and New Zealand for the trip of a lifetime 
• Bronson got moved to linebacker and had a injury filled football season! But he still got some sacks!
• I turned 25!
• Corbin decided to play basketball and is doing great
• Steve is still an avid Spurs fan, did I mention the Lakers beat the Spurs?
• Bronson and I still reign as undefeated Family basketball champions #dreamteam

2014 you were awesome... after 25 years and 3 months though I'm excited to start a new section in my book of life, the section where I'm actually grown up and can make intelligent decisions and good choices. To get this point though I made every wrong choice, decision, and took the hard road but I am so thankful for my stupidity because I learned so much from it and it made me tougher. More than ever, and I can't believe I'm actually saying this because I made fun of everyone for tweeting this, I feel like this is a new year new me. Stupid and cliche but its so true! So far 2015 has been full of well, basketball and more basketball! Let be honest though, I couldn't think of a better way to start off a new year. 

New year. New me... Literally

Gag I feel like I cant end like that but oh well.

Thanks for the good times 2014

In The End, Only 3 Things Matter...

For those of you who don't know my father or who aren't Facebook friends with him, well you're missing out. I would say on a weekly basis I receive at least 6 Facebook messages from Steve about various things from inspirational quotes to funny animal YouTubes. Steve also shares all sorts of good lists and just good stuff in general on his Facebook wall. You know the feel good kind of stuff that you read and you all the sudden feel empowered and good like you can do anything and make a change in the world. Yes Steve is the king of finding such quotes and what not. So anyways a while ago he sent me this picture quote:

Okay so I won't lie... Steve sends me a lot of stuff and you know with the busy schedule I have I tend to skim or look quickly after the second or third message he sends me. This was one of those gems that I overlooked and saw today. Today is just one of those days when I needed a pick me up so I thought I would see what advice or what feel good YouTube I could find from good old Steve to help me out with my day. I came across this quote and it really just did the trick. In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. Buddha was clearly a wise man because this is what I think everyone needs to live by in this world of ridiculousness. 

Love Often

With so much hate in the world these days I feel like love is something that's hard to come by. People are so consumed with their jobs, their phones, and just their lives (I am soooo guilty of this) that I think we forget to love. We forget that other people are going through life just like we are with their own set of struggles and their own trials, and we forget to be aware of that. We forget to say thank you to the barista at Starbucks, or we don't hold the door open for the mother of 3 behind us because we are in such a rush, or we don't smile and say hi to a stranger you happen to make awkward eye contact with. Little things make such a huge difference. We judge those around us for their differences whether they're a BYU or Utah fan, Mormon, Catholic, white, black, brown, Asian, gay, straight, American, Candian, whatever it is. Everyone is so judgmental these days (especially in Utah).  Why does it matter what people look like or  how they choose to worship and spend their Sundays who someone chooses to love? Everyone is different so be respectful of others and love them rather for how they treat you. Love people regardless of your differences and don't judge them for not agreeing with you. I think sometimes we take people for granted. Whether its our family or friends we just expect certain people to always be there for us. Yet sometimes we forget friendship and love is a two way street. We have to put in what we expect to get out.   Where love is demanded love needs to be given. We need to love and learn to love deeply and passionately and unconditionally. Especially the people who have been there from the beginning. Now love is a big word I for one don't like to use it unless I truly mean it, but love isn't just a word. Its an verb that can be showed through every aspect of our day by the simplest of actions to those around us. Whether its your mom, your best friend, a complete stranger keep in mind that the smallest actions of love can have the biggest lasting impacts. Be there for those who are there for you. Be the shoulder to cry on, be the listening ear, be that person that can be trusted. Our happiness is found in the way we love and treat others, so choose to be happy and choose to love. 

Live Gently

So living gently... The first thing that comes to mind when I hear living gently is a monk. Monks take vows of silence for years, they live a simple life hanging out in robes, praying, lighting incense, but while it is simple it is also a meaningful and purposeful life devoting themselves to their religious beliefs. But lets be honest in reality I don't think this is what it means to live gently. I think living gently means to live a happy, purposeful, and peaceful life. I think it means to live within your means and to just really grab life by the horns and just rock it. Everyone is different with different religious backgrounds, racial backgrounds, financial situations, and different trials. But when we love ourselves and the hand we are dealt, all the sudden the trials seem to disappear. Everyone has different aspirations in life. Example, some of my friends their main goal in life was get married in the Mormon temple to a return missionary and start a family all by the time they're 20 years old. There's nothing wrong that. I thought they were crazy but you know, to each their own. Myself on the other hand wanted to graduate from school, get a job, and become financially stable and have my own life figured out before I brought someone else into it. We are all different with different preferences, opinions, and views. But I believe as long as we are truly happy, working towards our own end goal in life, and living at peace with ourselves and our choices then we are fulfilling the concept of living gently. I'm not saying you can't raise a little hell every now and then because we all know mistakes and stupid decisions result in 1. lessons learned 2. cool scars and 3. the best stories. These are all critical parts to life and finding our way. So don't just live a gentle quiet life. Live gently yet powerfully and at peace with yourself. 

Gracefully Let Go

Letting go is so hard lets be honest. For those who have had their hearts crushed, their dog ran away, or have lost a loved one its so hard to let go. Its so hard to let go of things that are not meant for you especially when you believed they were. But everything happens for a reason. People come and go out of our lives. I honestly do believe certain people come into our lives for a reason. I also believe certain people leave our lives for a reason. So what happens when you have your mind set on something and it doesn't work out? Whatever it might be, lets say love for example. Situation: you have found the one for you. This individual you love with all your heart and you see your future with them, but then something happens. It changes and they leave and you are left there all alone feeling defeated. How do let go of things that aren't meant for you? As cliche as this sounds, having a positive attitude is more than half the battle. Realizing that better things are yet to come and that it didn't work out it didn't for a reason that you just don't know yet. I love love love country music. I've noticed majority of country songs are 3 different things: 1. alcohol specifically beer and whiskey (rum if you're Kenny Chesney) 2. Break ups and Make ups and 3. Trucks. Sometimes you get a country song that has all three, I call that the country trifecta. Anyways I was listening to a song by Cole Sidwell called "Ain't worth the whiskey" and its a song about a break up (#2) and how the break up with this girl just aint worth the whiskey (#1). Clearly the break up was heart wrenching if he wrote a song about it, but either way it wasn't worth the whiskey. Now lets apply it to real life. Bad things happen. We can never have what we want or who we want, but what do we do about? When things don't work out your way you know what, its okay. Life goes on and it isn't worth the whiskey. So don't mope around and have a pity party. Do something about it. Find happiness because its a choice and we all deserve a happy ending. So when your heart is broken or you don't make the high school football team or you don't get that awesome intern in the New York just remember, it aint worth the whiskey and gracefully let go of the things that aren't meant for you. You obviously are meant for something greater you just don't know it yet. 

Only three things matter in our amazing lives... Could you imagine if we actually lived like this? If whether we went to heaven or hell was based off of how we loved those around us, how gently we lived, and how gracefully we let go of things that aren't meant for us? I think we would all live a much happier simpler life. I think people would see the value we each have and just in life in general. People wouldn't judge others for their differences and rather would accept them and love them for the intentions of their heart. Just because someone's on a different path than you doesn't mean its necessarily the wrong path. So love those around you on different paths because believe it or not your paths crossed for a reason. Don't take people for granted. Be there for your friends and family. Do nice things for people and love and accept others despite their differences. Live gently. Laugh every second you get. Choose to be happy. Live a life striving for peace, but make sure you raise a little hell along the way to keep things interesting. Lastly accept life as it comes. Whether good or bad whatever happens to you accept it with grace and move on. If its good, then be thankful. If its bad, know there's bigger things in store for you. Three simple ways to live and really, those three simple things are all that matters. Regardless of who we are, what we believe, and how we live these three things can apply to everyone and can honestly make us a better and happier people. So here's my take on all this...

In the end, Only 3 things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you... but in the end make sure you raise a little hell because everyone loves cool scars and good stories.

-Lex

How To Be Happy 101

Happiness... Lets be honest. We are born. We grow up. We get old. We Die. Its the natural pattern of life. But in between the part where we are born and we die we spend those years living life and striving for happiness right? I mean, I don't know anyone who purposely strives for misery and if they are then they probably need professional help. But during those years between life and death we do what we need to do to be happy. Sounds easy right? Live life and be happy, but its not easy as we all know. Life has ups and downs, twists and turns, dead ends and U turns, and every other kind of wrinkle that could possibly take place. These can also be known as trials. Life is this great thing, but you know you get trials along with it and the crazy thing is everyone's trials are different. Everyone's situation, upbringing, and lifestyle is different from one another. So with all these people striving for happiness in their own special way can ultimately complicate finding happiness. I had a basketball coach who would always say if we put all our problems out on the table and got to pick which ones we wanted we would still pick our own. Problems, trials, potholes in the road, call it you what you will but life happens. In my last post I talked about how life happens and well it does. If life was easy then it would be boring and no one would have any cool stories or scars or anything to really talk besides the weather. Sometimes our trials add in the adrenaline and excitement that you need. Sometimes trials can also add in the set back and the struggle that we really don't need, but every trial happens for a reason. Lately I found a quote that I love. I've done a lot of reflecting on my life lately and the twists and turns its had and when I read this quote it just really made everything come full circle. 

"There's no such thing as regrets, just lessons learned"

Can I just say that I love this?? I won't lie I've done a fair share of stupid things in my life. I've disappointment my parents a countless amount of times, I've made myself look like a real idiot, and I have made my own life as difficult as I could without having those intentions. But life happens and my choices are my choices to live with. But if life has all these trials then what do we do to find happiness? How do we become happy with all the crap going on? Now I'm not trying to brag about myself or say how awesome I am because I know for a fact I'm not. Like I said everyone's trials are different but with mine I've found optimism and happiness is really the only way to get through them and to see them as blessings rather than trials. But like I said, happiness is a choice so how do you just choose to be happy? Its not as easy as we all think it is but here are some of my own secrets on how to choose happiness and to really just be happy.

1. CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLES

One of my high school basketball coaches once told me this. I had just torn ligaments and shattered my ankle in practice  and I was absolutely devastated. This was my first real injury ever and the thought of missing all of preseason basketball as a sophomore was the end of the world for your typical 16 year old. Because of the severity of the injury I was my coach's TA for a class period and one day she told me I needed to control the controllables. She told me I couldn't control what happened but that I could control my attitude, my interactions with my teammates, and I could control my time in the weight room and doing rehab. Now this was only the first injury of many more to come and throughout every physical set back I've had I always think about controlling the controllables. Now this concept can carry over to every aspect of life. In life you can't always control everything that happens but you can always control how you react, and how you treat those around you. At the end of the day I think what matters most how we treat those we interact with. Some people get so caught up in how others are living and if its in accordance with what they believe when in reality we should be worrying about how we treat those around us and how we react to the adversity that's thrown at us. Do we shut down and hate the world or do we rise above it? Control what you can and good things will follow. 

2. LAUGH OFTEN
I honestly think people underestimate what a good laugh can really do for you. Sometimes when we are down all we really need is someone to make us laugh and all the sudden everything is okay. Humor can be a great tool for relief from physical or emotional pain and even stress. Now when I had cancer back in the day my doctors told me it would be good for me to find the good and stay positive for obvious reasons. At the time I didn't think or realize how big of a role humor would play in my healing process. Between Corbin and Steph I was constantly finding things to laugh at. If you know my brother Corbin or my bestest Steph then you know how funny these two are. They can do really any accent and perfect impersonations of anyone so you're guaranteed a good laugh. Sometimes you need to laugh about whats going on and keep in mind it could always be worse. I remember in the middle of my chemo months I found myself at the church playing basketball. I was completely bald, my skin had a yellow tint to it, and I could barley take 3 shots without the exhaustion settling in but I couldn't help but laugh. Yes I was laughing at my pathetic efforts compared to what I could do just 3 months prior but I was also laughing and smiling because I realized how blessed I was despite of what everyone thought. Yes I had cancer, but I still had all my limbs, I could still see and hear and taste and smell, and I could still shoot a basketball even if it was only 3 times before I needed a water break. If you can find the humor in everything and use humor to help you through the hard times it makes those hard times seem less hard and more like a bend in the road rather than a pothole. 


3. LOVE YOURSELF
Does anyone remember when they were a kid and you didn't notice the fact that you didn't have a flat muffin-top-less stomach? Or you didn't notice that you were the shortest one or the tallest of your whole class? Or that your ears poked out more than everyone else? I remember those days. I didn't even become self conscious of myself until well, 6th grade? When I realized wow I am the tallest kid in the whole school including boys and girls. Lets be honest everyone is different and everyone has a different genetic make up that makes them predisposed to be a certain way. Because Steve is brown I can't help it that my skin is naturally darker than majority of my friends. Thats just the way it is. Not all of us can have perfect bodies like Angelina Jolie and Channing Tatum. Some of us have to work harder but no matter what, we need to learn to love ourselves. So many times I hear people talk about how they wish their nose was different, they had different color of eyes, they want to be taller or shorter, or have more muscle. I won't lie I find myself guilty of doing this a lot. I would love to have a flat stomach and green eyes and thicker hair. But its important not to forget that we are all originals and we should love ourselves rather than trying to change everything that's makes you, you. I should love that I'm a little thicker in the mid section and that my eyes are brown like dog poop and that my hair is thin and stringy right? Ok maybe those were extreme examples but we should learn to love how we are rather than find everything wrong and try to change it. There was a time I wasn't happy with myself. I didn't like the person I was and I had gained a lot of weight, and I found myself being very negative about who I was and the person I was becoming. It took a lot of time and dedication and some real changes to how I lived but I can honestly say I am happy with myself again. When you're happy with yourself you have confidence. And someone with confidence can accomplish anything because belief in yourself is more than half the battle. 


4. HELP PEOPLE OUT AROUND YOU
The Gypsy always told us to make sure we do nice things for people because when you're serving others you forget about your own problems. Lets be honest we all know this is true. Growing up I found myself guilty sometimes when I would have to go to church service projects. I would drag my feet and have a bad attitude. But by the time we were done, I would forget all about how much I was dreading the service project and wanting to do more for those around me. Now by helping others out doesn't mean you need to organize a huge clothing drive to send large amounts of clothes to a 3rd world country on the other side of the planet. There's so many little things that you can do just around your own neighborhood or even your own family. A smile or a hello can go a long way. You never know how people's day are going so always smile at people and always say hi. When you're at home and see the garbage is full or the dishwasher needs to be loaded do it. Your mother will love you and you get brownie points with her. Open the door for the moms trying to shop with their 5 kids running around and help the old lady at the grocery store get something off the top shelf. Helping those around you doesn't need to be something huge, just do little things. If the opportunity presents itself where you can do something huge then do it. But there's a lot of people who could use a helping hand just in your backyard.


5. FIND WHAT YOU LOVE AND DO IT
Every one has a passion for one thing or another. Some people love to cook, some people love to count numbers, and some people love to be around kids. Whatever it is, find your passion and find a way to incorporate it into your every day schedule. Now my passion in life is basketball so everyday I find ways to work basketball into my day. Every day I make sure I either watch, coach, or play basketball. Sometimes when I'm lucky I get to do all 3. Whether its pick up or late night shooting sessions at the gym I make sure I try to get some form of basketball in. I coach during the summer and when season starts I'm lucky enough to coach everyday from October to February. And when I come home I watch whatever college or NBA games that are on TV, especially my Lakers. No matter how my day is going I always find time for basketball. There's times I find myself at work watching basketball YouTubes just because I need that little pick me up. Whatever your passion is find time for it. I won't lie I have moments where I look at the clock its 1 am and I want to go play so I get up, drive to 24 hour, and shoot for an hour with myself. Whatever you love find ways to make it a part of your daily routine and make it a priority. 

6. GRATITUDE
The definition of gratitude is the quality of being thankful and the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Every one shows gratitude in different ways. Some people are verbal and like to tell you, some people are physical and like to hug it out, and some people are like me and will send you a thank you card. No matter what you do, show gratitude. With it being the month of November aka month of giving thanks and with Thanksgiving in a week I think it would be a great time to start a gratitude journal. I've been doing one for about 2 weeks and to be honest, I feel I need to publicize some of the things I write because they're kind of funny. But when you are searching to show thanks you really notice things you didn't notice before... example here is last nights...

"tonight I am thankful for the Romans for being the first known to make scrambled eggs. I only like scrambled eggs so if they hadn't done it, then I wouldn't eat eggs which would be detrimental to my bod."

Now I know that was kind of a joke but I'm serious! Last night I was cooking myself my scrambled egg whites and I realized I had my eggs over easy and sunny side up so I would never eat eggs if they weren't scrambled. Since I've been doing my gratitude journal its not like I've had this life huge altering experience and the clouds opened up and I heard trumpets playing. Its made me aware of the little things in life that actually matter and that we take so much for granted. I won't life everyday I am so thankful for my cancer and for all my health problems because they wouldn't have made me who I am and its helped me appreciate basketball and those healthy days so much more. So 3 times I a day I write down what I'm thankful for. One in the morning, afternoon, and before I go to bed. Do it and you'll find yourself noticing the little things and being more willing to show gratitude in all aspects of life, even the bad things. 

7. FIND YOUR PEOPLE
If you've ever seen Grey's Anatomy you know the notorious line by Christina Yang says,

"If I murdered someone, she's the person I'd call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She's my person."

Now we aren't supposed to take this literally. Don't go out and kill someone and see who the first person who comes to mind. That's not the way to find your person. What I am saying is find your person. Find your people. Surround yourself by people who you know would do anything for you. People who aren't afraid to challenge you because they love you and care about you that much. People who regardless of how you treat them and what you do will stand by your side when you need. Those are the people you need to surround yourself with. So many times in my life I found myself with people who didn't care who I thought cared. People who I thought were my friend and who I could trust but in those moments when I needed someone they weren't there. As human beings we can't help but want to be around other people whether they're friends or family. We all need someone. The hard part is finding someone who's going to be loyal and stick with you through life when life decides to shake things up a bit. If you want to be happy find your people or your person and never let them go. Rather realize how lucky you are to have found them and experience life with them surrounding you. 

Happiness really is a choice at the end of the day. Choosing happiness isn't always easy especially with all the crap that goes on in the world. I'm not saying if you do all these things you're going to happiest most optimistic person in the world. Life sucks sometimes and its good to realize that and take it in and cope the way you need to. But happiness is attainable if you want it to be. If you surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally, change your attitude and mind set, laugh a little but preferably laugh a lot, find your passion and do it, show gratitude in every aspect of life small or large, and love yourself I honestly can say you'll be happier.  And there might come a time in your life where you need to stop pleasing everyone around you and do what you want. No one finds true happiness by pleasing everyone else and be selfish for your own happiness' sake. These aren't things you can just do for a week and expect a change. These things take time.. But you know what, after time passes you'll find yourself happy and realizing just how blessed you really are.