Control the Controllables... aka your Attitude

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I needed to control the controllables I would so rich! I would probably have enough cash money to be living in my storage unit tiny home, up in Seattle, with a large fenced in property for my 6 St Bernards and 5 Cats, with my significant other and maybe a kid or two... I know my all time goal in life is so appealing right? The bottom line is though, I am always told I need to control the controllables and to stop being a control freak. Being a Virgo woman (born between 8/23-9/22) I cannot help but want to control every aspect of my life. It just comes natural to me. I am the worst delegator alive and I always have this burning need in my heart to be in charge. As Christian Grey put it, "I exercise control in all things." As I've gotten older though I've realized you can't really control everything. You sure as heck can try but unless you're a multi millionaire like Christian Grey or a wizard like Albus Dumbledore you can't really control anything at the end of the day. You'll just end up tired, frustrated, and stuck in your comfort zone where you have control. You can't control the weather, you can't control whether or not someone loves you back, and you can't control the ridiculous high prices of Nike apparel. The only thing you really can control is your attitude in the situations that are thrown at you. Attitude is everything and can make or break any situation. Having a bad attitude towards things can make life a living hell while a good attitude can make a tough situation easy-peezy. It all depends on if you see the glass as half full or half empty. Attitude is everything.

Bad Example:

Being a high school basketball coach I love when I see players with good attitudes. I didn't realize how bad my attitude as a player was until I was a coach. I honestly don't even know why my teammates liked me let a lone put up with me. Sports is a great example of where attitudes are something that are so crucial. While I was at Timpview playing basketball I had a different coach every year I was there. I remember with the one specific new coach I had the worst attitude. I didn't want them to be my coach, and I didn't respect them. It showed that year as a player on the floor. I was a selfish player, I wasn't coachable, and in the end it cost us the state championship. My attitude carried over to my college career. The first two years were great. Then cancer happened, and well then my stubborn feministic ways got the best of me and by my junior year I wasn't invested. I had a chip on my shoulder and a bad attitude. I was coming off chemo and my body wasn't adapting to college basketball as fast as I wanted it to or as good as I needed it to. I rode the bench for a whole season and found myself frustrated and with a bad attitude. It ended up being a huge factor in the end of my college career and I went out with a bad taste in my mouth for the game I once had loved so much. It took me a few months to touch a basketball again, but in those 6 months I had to rebuild myself up. I had to get a new attitude to my new life. I went from college athlete to college graduate looking for a job. It took some adjusting, but with a major attitude change I soon grew to love my new life. I loved my job, I loved working (even when it was two jobs at times), and I eventually found my old love for the game of basketball. I look back and wish so bad I had a "cup half full" attitude and realized I couldn't control my health, or who my coach was, or who my teammates were. What I could have controlled though was my attitude to those things. As I said before, when I coach girls with good attitudes its such a relief. In sports, someone's attitude can make or break a team. My attitude broke my teams in the past so as a coach, its something I've really emphasized. Good attitude towards the game and my players so hopefully it will rub off on them. A person with a bad attitude will not only never progress, but their bad attitude affects everyone around them. The best thing you can do, in any situation good or bad, is have a good attitude. Good attitude = Good outcome.

Good Example:

So as well know once upon a time I had cancer, well I still have it but once upon a time I had to actually fight it and what not. Anyways I won, Alexis: 1 Cancer: 0. But during the whole process my team of doctors made it very clear that attitude was 90% of the battle. They emphasized again and again that I needed to keep a good positive happy attitude and let the chemo do the rest. So naturally like a good little cancer patient, I did. Now this is easier said than done when. Imagine sitting in a room with friends and family and they're all crying because you're "dying" and you have to stay positive... now thats kind of a dramatic example but thats how I felt. Staying positive through those 6 months started out easy. Something about shaving your head and having an Iron Man like port installed in your chest was exciting and fun. But it gets hard when you're constantly puking and can barley walk 10 yards to the bathroom without taking breaks. Martha was right though as she always is, attitude is everything. Throughout it all I kept a positive attitude, I found the silver linings, and rather than thinking "man what if the chemo and cancer kills me and I die?" I thought "man how awesome are my scars from all these surgeries going to be in like 5 years after I beat this?" Its all about perspective. When you have a good attitude good things happen. Whether the situation is something like cancer, or the attitude towards the cashier at the grocery store who won't stop talking, if you have a good attitude good things happen.

Now lets be honest... there's just some situations where having a good attitude is just hard. Some people just are naturally not optimistic. Myself included. I like to consider myself a realist. I like to think with my head and not my heart. I never really liked to think the extreme worst or the extreme best, but I definitely wasn't optimistic. I was told a lot that I shouldn't be so pessimistic, but I'm not pessimistic I'm just realistic. That was always my reply. I noticed that in most aspects of my life I was taking a realistic approach and was a lot of times a glass half empty kind of gal. I've been working hard to turn that around and be more optimistic and more of a glass half full kind of gal. I saw the importance of a good attitude while going through cancer so why not apply it to all aspects of life? Why not be optimistic and have a good attitude at all times? Yes that sometimes sets you up for even bigger let downs and disappointments, but there's always a silver lining to be found in everything that happens. Our attitude is probably the only thing we can really control when things go bad, and our attitude is really the one thing that can make a bad situation bearable. It can be the game changer when you get diagnosed with cancer or when you spill your taco all over your white shirt. 

At the end of the day, our attitude is what will determine how we react to any situation in life and to people. Something like a good attitude can take you as far as you want it to and can be what you need to get through anything good or bad. It opens up the doors to opportunity and really just living in general. Worrying and trying to control everything in life is exhausting. Trust me, I didn't it for 25 years! You can't control people, you can control traffic, or the opportunities that are given you. But you can control your attitude 100% of the time and when you have a good attitude, good things happen. I'm a firm believer in good and positive energy. I believe in karma. I also believe that a good attitude will get you farther in life, it will help you escape your comfort zones, and its the only thing in this crazy life that we can control. So control it, rock it, and let your good attitude work for you.