This Ones For the Girls...

This post has taken me a long time to post. I actually wrote 3 posts prior before this idea came to me. I was scrolling through my twitter feed and I saw a quote by Maya Angelou. I apologize for her French but this quote just hit me for some reason:

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a b****. 

You've got to go out and kick a**."

- Maya Angelou

After reading this quote I realized I needed to post something for the girls. Being a girl isn't easy by any means. Girls have to deal with periods, carrying a baby in their belly for 9 months, menopause, getting boobs smack in the middle of the awkward years, and are usually expected to wear make up and dresses on the regular. Maybe that was too blunt of a statement... but its the truth! I was raised in a very open home so I apologize but life's just easier when you're blunt honest and up front about things. Back to this quote, with the recent passing of Maya Angelou a lot of her quotes and what not have been surfacing and are being plastered all over social media. Like I said, this one stopped and caught my eye. With high school graduations happening and everything I've also been thinking a lot about when I was 18 and what choices I made and didn't make and what exactly got me to this point. I won't lie I'm different than most girls. I was raised with brothers and boy cousins so I don't think like a girl. I don't get my feelings hurt easily. I don't like make up and shopping and dresses. When I fight with someone I don't want to talk about it, cry about it, then hug it out. I want to spend 2 minutes tops saying sorry then go play basketball or xbox about it. When I was 14 and new to Provo most girls my age were so obsessed with Mark Ercanbrack because they thought he was so cute. I was too busy playing basketball with him to really notice. See what I mean? Now I wouldn't call myself a feminist I feel like that's too extreme. But I do see myself equal as an equal to any guy and if anything more skilled. My whole life I've been independent and always voiced my thoughts. When I was in the BYU dorms my freshman year every girl out there wanted to find their "eternal companion" and be married by 19. I was too busy playing Guitar Hero and basketball yet again. Everyday we hear on the news the mistreatment of women around the world and how women are being sold as slaves still. Everyday I see young high school girls get pushed around by a stupid boy or even a girl just scared to say how she feels. So this post is for the girls. Here's my advice to you all...

You Are Good Enough

Having been around high school girls and coaching basketball for a while now I hear everyday "I'm not good enough." Whether that phrase ties to basketball, school, friends, family, whatever it may be you should never not feel good enough. Because the truth is you are. You're probably better than you think. There's no such thing as a perfect human, so why strive for something that doesn't exist? For me I've learned not to compare myself to anyone. Why? Because no one is like me. No one knows my thoughts, my experiences, my feelings, or my ambitions in this life. So why compare myself to someone not even in a similar category? When you stop comparing yourself to others, you actually realize you were too good all along.

Confidence Is Key

I had a roommate in college who everyday told me, "Fus don't forget, confidence is key." I didn't realize exactly what that meant until I was older. But its so true. When you have confidence in yourself and your abilities anything is possible. Confidence is something I never lacked. I probably have too much and am borderline on the cocky side of things. At a young age though I knew what I was good at and what I wasn't and that's where I found my confidence. I didn't find confidence in throwing a baseball with my brothers or singing songs for people. I found it in shooting free throws or sitting down and playing the piano. I think the biggest reason people put each other down is because everyone knows someone with an unwavering confidence can be a scary thing. Confidence doesn't come from being right all the time, it comes from not being afraid to be wrong. So have confidence in yourself! Confidence really is the key to being successful in anything. The second you gain confidence in yourself if also when the sky becomes your limit and anything is possible.

Relationships Can Be Your Enemy

So relationships... Relationships are great. Honestly I see nothing wrong with them, except when they do more harm than good and become toxic. No one deserves being with someone who puts them down, makes them feel stupid, and who doesn't let them think for themselves. Now that I'm older and I look back so many guys that I knew in high school and who were my friends were like that. They wanted to be with a girl who didn't think for themselves and who didn't speak their mind. That's probably why I was always invited to the play Xbox with them rather than be their girlfriend lets be honest. So girls... I don't care who you're with but if you're dating someone who doesn't see the value in you and who treats you like anything less than a Queen, drop'm! Every girls should be treated every day like they're a Queen. 

Don't Let Others Crush Your Dreams

In life I've learned that people, especially authoritative figures in your life, think they know whats right and know whats best for you. That's not necessarily true. I mean yes growing up your parents probably know whats best but there comes a point where you know whats best for you. When I was 14 I remember sitting in a church class and my teacher asked all of us girls where we saw ourselves in 10 years. Every girl said the same thing and I quote, "When I'm 24 I want to be married to a return missionary in the temple and have at least one or two kids." Don't get me wrong great aspirations, just not mine. My response was,"I hopefully will be done playing college basketball and in medical school." My teacher looked at me funny and told me that I needed to rethink my answer because I needed to care more about getting married and starting a family as opposed to a career. I was so mad I left the class. Flash forward 10 years. I played college basketball. Clearly I'm not in medical school. But I'm not married. I have no children, at least that are babies that came out of me. I work full time, I coach basketball, and I'm starting the prerequisites for a Masters degree this August. I look at my friends who are my age who got married at 18 and have two kids and they're happy, but I couldn't imagine myself being married with two kids at this point. What I'm saying is, if you have a dream don't let someone tell you its the wrong one. No one knows your heart better than yourself, so follow it and do whats going to make you happy. Not what society thinks will make you happy.

You Is Kind, You Is Smart, You Is Important

If you haven't seen the movie The Help then come to my house tonight and I'll let you borrow it. There's a scene where Aibileen tells Mae Mobley (little girl she watches), "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." This phrase kind of brings in everything I've said. The English isn't proper, which usually bothers me, but I love it. If every girl from the time they're 2 to 20 heard this, they'll believe it. What a powerful statement that is so simple yet so full of truth. Every little girl, every high school girl, and every woman alive should know that they are smart and important and worth something. That way when the day comes when you're challenged and aren't sure if you can do something or faith in yourself, you'll remember this phrase and you'll know that you are kind, you are smart, and you are important. Seeing the value in yourself is whats going to help you find true happiness.

So there you have it, my advice to you girls out there. Be fearless and independent and know what you're capable of. I love in this day and age so many books and movies and TV shows are having strong female roles. Divergent, Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, Revenge are just a few examples. There are athletes and actresses who are taking over the lime light: Serena and Venus Williams, Hope Solo, Danica Patrick, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift. These are all women who are taking over and making a difference. At the end of the day how can you expect people to value you and your opinion and your abilities if you don't? So start now doing little things to help you see your value and important. Have enough respect to put someone in their place and to walk away from a toxic relationship. It all starts with you. If you love yourself, respect yourself, and have confidence in yourself then everyone else will too. 

So this post might be a little one sided. Little biased, but its how I feel. And I think its just what some people need to hear. But on a side note, its warm in Utah. I think spring is finally settled in and we don't have to worry about a snow storm any time soon. Corbin comes home in just 16 days and  hours. My family is going to Cher is 38 days. Also summer is around the corner. I'm looking for some summer weekend adventures so if any of you are feeling adventurous justa let me know I volunteer as tribute! Cancer update: I'm healthy as a shark (I don't like horses but I do like sharks). Next check up is in November and Corb will be able to come just like the good old chemo days. Anyways, enjoy summer while its here and be safe! Don't forget,

You Is Kind, You Is Smart, You Is Important.

Alexis