With Mother's Day just around the corner I felt like it would be appropriate to blog about the Gypsy. Now my gypsy is a special gypsy and thats because well, shes my gypsy. Michelle has the knowledge of 100 gypsies as well as 100 lifetimes and it just seems appropriate I share some of her knowledge with you all as well as somethings you might not know about her...
1. McDonalds Has the Best Diet Coke
There is nothing Michelle loves more than an ice cold diet coke, and according to her McDonalds has the best diet coke. Probably because the syrup to soda ratio is lopsided but either way, McDonalds has the best diet coke and its only $1. Now Swig on the other hand has equally as good diet coke, the only issue... Styrofoam cups. Gypsies don't like Styrofoam cups. The sound of styrofoam makes their ears hurt. Mormons are real into the food storage. Michelle's food storage consists of two 12 packs of DC. So if you ever want to make a Gypsy happy take her a diet coke from McDonalds with extra ice.
2. Running Multiple Miles is Fun!
This lesson never really sunk in for me. Gypsies like to run. And by run I mean they will run for 26.2 miles and call it fun. Then a few months later do it again. And as if that wasn't enough they add in biking and swimming for the change of scenery. For some reason gypsies just love to run. They also love to bike through to the top of South Fork, Sundance, and Squaw Peak consecutively just because its a nice day out. Clearly you can see why I never caught onto this. But the trick is, you need to let the Gypsies do this or they will be angry all day! So when your Gypsy needs her alone time to go run, let her go for as long as she needs!
3. A Clean House Is a Happy House.
As mentioned before in my previous blog if Michelle had a life motto it would be this. A Clean house is a happy house, and by clean house that means immaculate and not a single spec of dust anywhere or you will be punished. This is the way of the Gypsy. If that means cleaning everyday, then you clean everyday. And sometimes if your bed isn't made and you go to school, the Gypsy will come and kidnap you from Timpview and take you home to make your bed. Or you'll come home to find your clothes piled on your bed that were once scattered across your bedroom floor. This makes it nearly impossible to nap. So to make a Gypsy happy you clean as your told and you also make your bed and put your laundry away everyday. No excuses.
4. Gypsies Eat Diet Coke and Baked Goods for Breakfast
Now to maintain a gypsy like figure one must eat quality meals for breakfast... which includes a can of diet coke and a baked good of sorts. Now my whole childhood, teenage years, and even when I was a young adult living with the Gypsy she always made us kids a nice hot breakfast. Usually scrambled eggs, oatmeal, waffles, cinnamon and sugar french toast, banana pancakes, just to give you an idea. While we were eating our heavenly breakfast she was chowing down on frosting dipped graham crackers and a DC. She just loves her sweets. My theory is it gets her going because she wakes up at 5:00am everyday and goes hard all day until 12:00am. I always know she will be awake late if I need someone to talk to. So, when you make a Gypsy breakfast in bed make sure its a diet coke and a slice of cake or something like that.
5. Gypsies Crave Grandchildren! So They Take What They Can Get...
I'm the oldest of 5 kids and well, I'm approaching 25. Yes I'm 25 I went to BYU and I'm not married. I'm one of the elite. Marriage isn't really my cup of tea at the time and I have more important things to do like watch food network. Now Gypsies love grandchildren. I'm not married, Bronson and Hil are still children playing their respective sports and what not, Corbin is on a mission, and we don't want to see Daryl and Devin on MTVs 16 and Pregnant so Michelle has no grand babies. In the mean time she fills her void by watching my two dogs. When she has Bella my St Bernard I always come home to Bella with pink bows and ribbons. She also is the favorite great Aunt to all my cousins kids. By favorite I mean they love her more than their own mothers sometimes. So until the Gypsy can get some grand babies just plan on your young children loving her more than you after 5 minutes of being with her. Also plan them being fed candy and given treats and toys of all kinds. She has a way with children.
6. Gypsies Travel All Over and Take Selfies Along the Way
So my Gypsy just like any other Gypsy loves to travel. Some of her favorite spots include China, Laie Hawaii, Boston, San Fran, Portland, and Medicine Hat Canada. Just kidding the Gypsy hates Medicine Hat Canada, but as you can see shes a well traveled Gypsy. She's driving across the US of A multiple times and because of her work she gets to go to some amazing places and takes selfies along the way. She has selfies in places that one can only imagine! Shes so good at documenting her adventures! So if you ever need the 411 on really anywhere in the US or China or Canada you call my Gypsy and she will fill you in.
7. Gypsies Love to Dance
At a young age the Gypsy lady showed talent in the field of Dance and Cheering. So naturally she was cheerleader and a dancer through high school and college. This is how she met Steve. She was a cougarette, he was a football player. Typical love story of a Gypsy and a Tall Dark and Handsome Brown Man. Anyways, even in her older age (by older I mean shes not 20 anymore) she dances. Whether its on our annual Christmas Eve dance party, playing dance central and beating everyone, or teaching a class the Gypsy has rhythm. Sadly to say only one of us 5 kids got that rhythm. Either way Gypsies love to dance!
8. Gypsies Don't Age
If you compare these two pictures you can clearly see that Gypsies don't age. They manage to maintain a youthful appearance even when they are 62. My Gypsy isn't 62 but I'm sure she will look the same when she is. I mean she has a better body than Daryl and I and shes our Mother! People when we are in public usually ask if she's my sister. I mean, if anything she's probably gotten younger since I've known her. So if you're a Gypsy, well congratulations! You will still look 25 while the rest of us really do look 48.
9. Gypsies Want to Rule the World
Ok so this statement isn't entirely true but man does my Gypsy do a lot for our little Provo Community. She's the head of the school board and does community counsel and on the board of trustees or something? Ok I won't lie I honestly don't know exactly what she does or her exact titles but she knows everything that happens in the city of Provo and is usually found speaking at big events. I think its because secretly the Gypsies want to take over America but frankly if she were to run the world it would be a good thing. I know for a fact the world would be a much cleaner place, children won't starve, and there would be a World Wide Holiday in honor of Cher. If you ever want to know anything about whats happening in the little city of Provo just call my Gypsy. She knows EVERYTHING.
10. Gypsies Just Want to Have A Good Time
At the end of the day the Gypsy just wants to have fun! She's all about having a good time and doing whatever is going to be a good time. If that means we are going to steal a crib and push each other in the hallway of the hotel in it then we are. If that means we are going to call Bronson while he's on his mission just to say hi then we will. And if that means taking you and your friends to go toilet paper the girl, who your boyfriend cheated on you with, house then she will do so and fund the whole project. Gypsies are fun and they just want to have a good time so you just let them. Sometimes you just have to sit back watch and shake your head but its all good fun in the end.
So there are some fun facts about my Gypsy. I really am the luckiest little brat in the whole world to get a mom as awesome as her. Not all moms would put up with my shenanigans and the things I do but she does so and usually smiles about it. If not I buy her a DC and some Cafe Rio and she usually does after. So with Mother's day being this weekend I hope you all give your moms a hug. Especially if she is a Gypsy Mother because those are the coolest ones anyway. Have a great weekend! And if you're Mormon have fun talking to your missionary!!! I know I can't wait to talk to mine.
Don't forget, hug your Gypsy and buy her a Diet Coke and tell her you love her!
Alexis
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