#KaufusiProbs

Growing up my whole life people have always been able to take one look at me and say, "Hey you're a Kaufusi!" Around here in Utah the Kaufusi name is tied to BYU and Utah football. Back in the 90s Steve used to coach there and coached four of his younger brothers there. Back in the 80s Steve and my Uncle Rich played football at BYU. And now that we are all grown up Steve coaches at BYU, my little brothers all play or will play there, and my cousin Isaiah will be there as well. As you can see we are clearly a football as well as a BYU family. So being a Kaufusi obviously has its upsides. Usually when I get pulled over I throw on a BYU hoodie I always have in my car and the cops usually put two and two together and as me how this years team will be. I then proceed to talk about how much I love BYU football and how I wish Bronson would've played basketball this season blah blah blah. Before I know it I'm driving home ticket free. Being a Kaufusi also means when I'm walking into the BYU football games that I get stopped by all the people tailgating as get to have good food. When I go to Timpview football games they usually just let me know because President Michelle is legit and has benefits like that. I mean being a Kaufusi in Provo Utah is a nice little set up, probably why I am yet to leave Utah County lets be honest now. But being a Kaufusi can have some downsides trust me.... 

#FatKidProbs

Being a Kaufusi you're destined to be a little on the pudgy side... At the Kaufusi house we love food. We cook a lot of food. We eat a lot of food. Therefore you gain weight because the food is just too dang good. Don't be mislead, Michelle is an amazing cook. But so is Steve. Steve has perfected the art of French Toast as well as the Grill. Michelle has perfected EVERYTHING else. Well and being the oldest, I have MASTERED the grill and everything else there is to be amazing at in the kitchen. Not to toot my own horn but I can cook. Now food. We plan our whole days around food. I remember being in high school and knowing if I wasn't up by 7:00 then Bronson and Corbin would eat all the food. Everyone knows after every Timpview or BYU football game Michelle usually whips up some delicious post game party meal. No one can put food down like my family. The other day I went with Steve to Costco. I remember going with Michelle when all 5 of us kids were home and Brons, Corb, and I were in high school. Michelle would go to Costco every Saturday and it would be at least a $400 trip once a week. I figured now that there are only two kids at home the Costco bill wouldn't be as much... False. $398 later Steve and I were walking out with food to last Sunday to Tuesday. In high school everyone always wanted to eat lunch at Michelle's house because we always have the best food. On any given day at the Gypsy Lair I can guarantee you there will be at least candy 4 dishes full of gummy bears, sweedish fish, hot tamales, and skittles. There will also be a plate of double chocolate doughnuts, some banana bread, and some other tasty treats. Michelle always tries to throw a bowl of fruit and granola bars out too. She has to appeal to all ages and appetites. There is also always food. Michelle has 3 fridges that are always over flowing with all kinds of food. When I was in college and living away from home I still ended up at home once a day just for the food. When we go out to sushi as a family its ridiculous. I'm talking like, 3 rolls per person and some.When we BBQ we don't just do hamburgers and hot dogs. We do short ribs, steaks, teriyaki chicken, sausage, hot dogs, cheese burgers, turkey burgers, and sometimes we even will mix it up and do some salmon. Literally every kind of meat will be on the grillNow you can see why I have always been on the chunky side of the weight spectrum. I take after Steve. We just love food! Even our pets are fat! I mean, midnight In N Out runs are completely normal. Now don't get me wrong some days I would love to be skinny and not eat anything. But as Steve would say, "Least I'll die happy and full of good food."

#InjuredProbs

Being a Kaufusi also means you're going to get hurt a lot. No because we all fight and you're going to get a black eye or need a band aid. You're probably going to get multiple concussions, shatter your ankle, tear every ligament in your knee, chunk out your knee cartilage, tear your rotator cuff and labrum, get compartments, have a dozen knee scopes, dislocate fingers, dislocate shoulders, get your adult teeth pulled, meningitis, hepatitis, and if you're luck you'll even get cancer. Now thats just the rough breakdown of the past few years. At first I figured we were always getting surgeries and injuries because we aren't as coordinated as we really are and we have bad knee genetics and we all play sports. But then I started looking at how and when we all had our different injuries and I have come to the conclusion we just go hard. Or in Devin's special case... he just didn't think. I look back to when we were little and Bronson and Corbin were in the ER every month with stitches in their forearms. 
They used to race each other down our grass hill and rather than stopping and opening the door they ran arms extended into the glass door and the winner won a trip to the ER with Steve to get 10 stitches. In my high school and college times I managed to shatter my ankle, tear my ACL, MCL, and meniscus, break my nose and face, tear every ligament in my ankle, get compartments surgery, tear my meniscus two more times again, and cancer. Bronson tore up his shoulder, tore his PCL, then the next year year he blew out his ACL and meniscus, and just recently had another shoulder surgery. Corbin chunked out a piece of his knee and had to be hooked to a machine 23 hours of the day for 2 weeks. Daryl blew our her ACL, MCL, and meniscus. Devin had a double compound fracture in his arm and 5 or 6 surgeries on that. Steve gets random diseases anytime he leaves the country. 
Michelle dislocated her shoulder, has had some knee scopes, and somehow manages to take care of all of us. So being a Kaufusi means is great but you will probably get hurt. Break some arms, blow your knee out, get 100s of stitches... thats just the way it is. After so many hospital visits Steve and Michelle now argue over who has to take us to the ER with whatever new injury we get. Its okay though, those things happen. 

#BallIsLife

As mentioned before all my brothers play or will play football at BYU. Steve played football at BYU and in the NFL. I played basketball at BYU. So clearly we are a sports family. For a long time us kids we 4 for 5 as athletes. Daryl gave us a royal scare for a long time being into the dancer and cheer thing. Michelle was a cheerleader and a cougarette as a young lass and she was wearing off on Daryl for a while but after much harassment Daryl converted and is one of the best keepers in the state. Michelle has even abandoned her pom poms and taken to running marathons and triathlons in her free time. Frankly I think shes insane but thats probably because I hit one mile and about pass out. Now my whole life my parents have pounded into my head as well as my siblings that school is first, sports second. Growing up I hated this because all I wanted to do was play basketball. But in order to play basketball I had to have perfect grades and by perfect I don't mean a 3.9 I mean a 4.0. Two of the scariest days of my life were telling Michelle I got an A- in Human Biology my freshman year of high school and then telling her I got a B+ in Trig my junior year. Now I'm not saying if Daryl had decided to be a cheerleader we would have judged her... I'm just saying her soccer games are more fun to watch and to get kicked out of (happens at least once or twice each club season). We have a phrase in family called GT. It stands for gene trader. It would be such a waste of our great gene pool to not be athletes. Could you imagine being 6'10" and not being a football or basketball player? So not that football and basketball and soccer are life, but being a Kaufusi means you're going to play a sport and you're going to be good at it. If not you'll struggle in family basketball games of 21. 

#ACleanHomeIsAHappyHome

If you have ever been to the Gypsy Lair besides noticing the bowls of candy and the huge cat you usually notice how clean it is. Michelle runs a tight ship at the house and you either step up and keep it clean or you lose your cell phone, Xbox, iPod, iPad, and any other electronics and privileges. Every day Michelle does something every day to maintain the house's clean state. Every Saturday is chore day. On this day you typically clean your room, your bathroom, do your laundry and put it away, change your sheets, and then you have to pick something else. She always gives you options so the first person to wake up gets first pick. I used to dread Saturdays because I hated cleaning my bathroom and I never wanted to do anything. But you couldn't go out or have your phone until it was all done. Its also required you make your bed everyday. I remember I got a scary long text because I didn't make my bed or put my laundry away. I came home to all my clean laundry and anything that was on the floor thrown on my bed so I couldn't sleep on it. I then started sleeping on top of my comforter so I wouldn't have to make my bed and more so straiten it every morning. I was always trying to find ways around cleaning. Bronson was famous for always leaving his dresser drawers open. On many occasions he would come home to find his drawers on the floor of his room. I'm sure he still does that too because he never really learned his lesson. Now that I live on my own I feel bad for my roommates because I am my mother's daughter. For hating to clean my whole life I love to clean my house and HATE when its messy. I'm borderline OCD I would say. If the house is messy, I have to clean it before I can do anything. I don't care if its 11:00 at night I will vacuum the upstairs if its messy. Every Saturday I clean everything and I even scrub the floors on my hands and knees. Its amazing how the older you get you realize Michelle was actually right and she actually had a purpose behind teaching us kids to be clean freaks. I love it because you better believe my house is clean! 

#HugsAndKissesForAll

So the last thing that comes with being a Kaufusi is hugs and kisses. If you have ever been around my brothers specifically Bronson and Corbin, 10 out of 10 times they will pick you up and give you a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. Now for someone like me, I'm not into the touchy feely stuff so I always hated it when they would do it. But when they were on their missions thats one of the things I missed most is I didn't get these huge bear hugs every time I saw one of my giant baby brothers. Steve is a large man. Sometimes I call him Fat Man. But his hugs are just engulfing. He's a big dude. Usually I can wiggle free from Brons and Corb, but not Steve. He's still got some muscle from his Eagle days and just doesn't let go. His hugs are great though. Bronson is roughly 6'7" 265lbs. He's super skinny right now its really weird, he always had to shop in the "husky" section of Gap when he was little. Bronsons hugs sometimes hurt because he squeezes so hard and when he kisses your cheek its really slobbery. I don't enjoy his hugs and kisses that much. Corbin is 6'10" and 240lbs. His hugs are my favorite. He usually catches you by surprise. Hes famous for throwing people over his shoulders and running around with them. The only problem with Corbin is you never know if he is fully dressed, half dressed, or in his speedo. Whenever he would come home from work between his car and the front door he always managed to end up at least topless. The boy has a free spirit lets be honest. So if you're going to be in or around my family, be prepared to have your personal bubble space violated. The first day I met Steph was when she moved into my parents house for the summer and the first thing I told her, "Don't be alarmed if my brothers pick you up and kiss you thats normal." Sure enough, Bronson picked her up kissed her on the cheek and welcomed her to our home. Like I said, there's no such thing as personal space in our home. 

So now you have a small look into my crazy family and what it really means to be a Kaufusi. If you follow me on twitter I will always hastag #KaufusiProbs when I tweet anything that reminds me of my family and just how we are. Now we aren't perfect but I will say this, we are a good freaking time! The missing piece and the funniest one comes home in two months and two days then we will FINALLY be complete after four years. Missionaries are always weird. In Bronson's case he still is weird, but for the sake of our family holidays and my sanity, I hope Corbin isn't weird long-- If you've ever seen our Christmas Eve dance party pictures you'll know what I'm talking about.

I hope everyone had a great Spring Break. I spent mine working. If you happened to be at my parents you'd know Devin broke his foot and got surgery, Bronson got his shoulder fixed, and Michelle is recovering still too. Like I said #KaufusiProbs = #InjuredProbs. 

Have a Marvelous weekend and go see Divergent if you haven't!

Alexis